Swear Words

Summer Clinic Camp is kicking my *** There really isn't much any other way to describe it. I feel worse and worse about my abilities as a clinician and I struggle to find out why and how, and to fix it. And sleep and food deprivation sure does not help. It's like being a camp counselor and teacher and taking a course on top of it--hey, that's what it is...ugh. Get up at 5 am or 7am (depending if there was time to take a shower and complete daily reports and plans the evening before), morning meeting at 8.30, AM camp at 9, end at 11.30, wait for kids to leave til about 11.45, clean up room and try to do a report on that session and prep for PM session (or eat) before 12.30, race to the outside lawn to greet PM kids because your supervisor is always early out there, start PM session, end PM session at 3, have PM meeting, clean up room and return materials used, try to write a report, or run errands or eat or study for quiz, go to class at 4.30, get done at 6.20, then go home for dinner and do reports and plans for next day and if you're the lead clinician do that prep work and then fall asleep (the earlier the better) by 12 or later (if decide to do all reports). Wake up and try to be smiley and bright and happy for the kids. The kids are fun to be sure, it's hard to get them 'bribe' the younger ones and encourage the older ones but overall, I think I've got a the best kids (I also have the best kids in my mind). But I think my thinking is also not flexible enough or far reaching to be a 'super clinician.' Being in grad school I gotta say has been the most confusing part of my life yet and makes me doubt a lot about myself and abilities. It messes you up in different ways that are totally unexpected.