it still rots

I still feel like I absolutely hate this school. This weekend was suppose to be a weekend of homeowrk. I've got assignments that are all due this week. This weekend was definately not a weekend of homework. I tried, could probably recite to you what I read and found out, yet nothing is in paper, nothing is structured, nothing in in 'turn-in' style. I feel discouraged, alone, lethargic, bored, restless, very bored, wandering pointlessly...plain unmotivated whatsoever.

Oh, sure, I should be sooo grateful to go to school, getting a chance to do that. But I do not feel grateful now, I feel sick. I feel like I wasted so much money getting here and I can't find a way out. I can't see any upside good enough to pull me out of this misery of being in this hell-hole. Yes, hell-hole, my vocabulary is becoming increasingly colorful by the day. This is a repeat of high school all over again...your peers are great, but the school sucks big time.

I don't feel like I'm learning anything, all my classes are a repeat of those in undergraduate, but oh wait, I spoke too soon, I am learning something, I'm learning to hate this school.

Oh God, what is this?

I don't feel like being strong,
I don't feel like putting on a smile
on my face,
I am feeble and weak in spirit,
I'm on a road to no where,
I never was wise nor
steadfast
Be real to me O Lord
I cry
Cry to You Father.