I'm scared. Stiff. And it's that kinda feeling whereby you don't have time for, so you just supress it and carry on doing what you're suppose to be doing and hope things will work themselves out with time. I went to the Christmas Market just now, and came back with treasures: traditional musical instruments (great!), small traditional tablecloths (ok)...and a wooden craved Jesus statue (oh).One, it was quite scratched up and I didn't see that then, but the only comfort I can get is I got it down from Ft168000 to Ft 5000. And I forgot the HRC here doesn't agree with the concept of having icons (figures, anything humanlike) in the church. Oh well. It came from Hungary. I should explain that I'm buying these stuff not for me, but for Calvin's Worship Institute.
And I feel awful cause I still have yet to plan my travels and I start them tomorrow morning, way early. I still have 4 journals to write and plane tickets and places to figure out. I thought I was set and then mum brought up the point that it would be wiser to keep going westward instead of hopping back and forth from Budapest...so I won't have a homebase, and I wasn't prepared to leave Budapest at all, I had it in mind to come back sometime since my travel plans worked out that way. It hasn't sunk in that I'm leaving this place in less than 12 hours and I probably won't ever come back, any time soon, nor the same way. I treasure and have loved this semester so much. I have grown much as a person and am challenged more. I am glad for L'Abri in Jan. maybe I can get the ideas I have down pat into some belief.
But I'm mostly scared stiff because I haven't had much prepared and I leave soon, and if my travel plans do change, I'll have to inform Janos that I can't spend Christmas with him and his family after all, and I can't go to dear Pecs; and I feel badly because he has been so wonderful to me and I don't know how to say thank you. He is indeed an amazing person, a person in God, driven, passionate. His wife is amazing too, I did not get to see her much, but she is a beautiful person, mother and artist. Their kids, Janos, Zsofi, Balath (sp?) and little Lily are fun. Lily scares often, as Steve says. And Steve! I won't see him again, nor Hayni. Alis, or pronounced that way invited me over to her place in Lake Balaton, the beautiful region in Hungary I haven't been to, and although I know her roomies, Zsofi and Andi some, I haven't spoken to her before, just smiled and acknowledged. I was takenaback and in the state I was in, I was touched by the bigness of her heart. Indeed, there's something to Hungarian hospitality.
I'm not ready to leave the Danube River and the lights of Budapest.
I'm not ready to leave the Castle area.
I'm not ready to leave the tram rides behind.
I'm not ready to leave huge windows and lots of closet space.
I'm not ready to leave pipe showers and messy feather strewn rooms.
I'm not ready to leave crazy moment with the group.
Kim's potatoes and onions, hi babys, baby talk, serious moment, hugs.
Laura's keeping me in line, hugs, positive pep talks, mature mood.
Jill's smile.
Beth's Chinese.
Kelly's laughter, smile and big heart.
Joel's gentleman-ness.
Andrew's tackles.
Nate's jabs and unhidden kind heart.
Paul's cutthroat remarks (wait, but I'll be with Paul for another week).
Jeff's fashion bug and inspring photographs.
Eric's uh...s, sincerity.
Ben's coffee.
Becky's pancakes and wonderings.
Erica's shy smile and everyone-friendliness.
Allison's poise.
Daniel's boyishness.
Janelle's tact and social-wide reaching intriguing thoughts.
Jen's late night talks.
Natalie's cooking.

But all good times must come to an end.