Auschwitz

Arrived back to Budapest from Krakow this morning. I have yet to write on paper Day 2 (day two of events that can be remembered right now) in Krakow. So I suppose this will be a half JOURNAL ENTRY for the journals I haven't written for class purposes. Going backwards from today, I got back, as mentioned before, in the morning, after the overnight train ride (fun!). I slept all the way, as opposed to the overnight train ride to Krakow, in which I read, talked, stayed up late, opened the window and let the cold Polish/Slovakian air/mist come in and sang to the wind (Eric brought up the possibility of me not hearing myself--which was the whole idea--but everyone else down the train carts being able to, drat) and read some more. Anyhow, I got back and on our way back from the tram, I got fined. I was ticked off. Our temporary student IDs had expired but the new ones were supposed to come in soon to be picked up by us. But I had to get fined for not having a valid one on me. Yes, I admit I was suppose to get it renewed, but things have been crazy and being out of the country while the card expired can play a big part in the reason why I didn't get it renewed in time. The horrid (I was mad) lady told me to pay Ft500, but when I took a closer look at the postal check she handed me (I am so mad that I wasn't more alert and not hand her my student ID, or do the group thingey), it had Ft 4925 on it. I was livid. That's a huge difference right there. And the awful part is I had to go all the way to this one specific post office to get it paid off. I then wished I was leaving the country for good that week so that I can forget about this. but no, I have a month to go (oh, that is short!). From the lack of sleep and general stress adn being annoyed, I was pretty mad about everything and took it off on Hungary. I realized then why my foreign friends take steam off me when the Malaysian system messes with them, just because I'm Malaysian too...well, I sympatize with them. But I went to see Eszther Kiss, the International Student coordinator at BUTE, our host university, and she got the mess straightened out. She got the prize today and is my current most favorite person in the world. So, I have to pay Ft 500, which is the cost of a decent meal, but that's better than the huge four digit sum. And she told me how to work that out with the ppl at the post office. I took a wonderful shower (I have never showered so many times in a weekend before) and went off to class at Karoli, the one I was about to skip cause I still don't know how the grade is counted in that class and everything so far hasn't, or so to my understanding. So, my day today grew better and better after I had that talk with Eszther, and there's a smile on my face because of her kindness...I liked the way she was so nice and friendly to me, despite all she has to do. Despite it was the second time I ever saw her (the other being at orientation) and probably won't have any 'official' reasons to go see her again. I am very happy about her right now, if that's not too obvious in my blogging. So, I have two booklets to read and anaylze tonight and a paper to write on a exhibit/performace I have yet to know what that will be. Then it's a persentation prep. and another paper to account for.

I am struggling between going/not to Turkey. Should I go? I could use that weekend to do homework and catch up, but then again when will I ever get a chance to go again, for $ 300? It's a 4/5 day trip and I hear it's wonderful. I feel some guilt for not going on that Ukraine trip. Same logic...I'll probably never get there since it's by invitation only and I've really no business there. But I suppose if I am suppose to go to that country sometime in my life, then I will, God willing.

Okay, Krakow. We stayed right at the Old Town's square. It was lovely. The market in the middle sold trinkets, lots of amber stuff, furs, wooden boxes and other things like that. I bought jewellry (for the first time in my life) as gifts and Joel convinced me to buy some more for myself, which I did since Krakow is the cheapest place (in this semester) to get stuff, even less than affordable Budapest. The exchange rate is almost comparable to Malaysia's. Still, things were quality. Day 1 was a sleep in after that train ride til noon or so, and then to the castle area. Was extremely cold, but I liked the one view they had there...ruins that had was-stone walls running like a maze in green green grass, surrounded by the area's old buildings. Beautiful, but dunno if I did snap a picture. Saw a lot of priests and nuns walking about. Did not go into any exhibits cause they cost money but did go into some parts of the cathedral there. Had a slow night of reading Maya Angelou's book and thinking of the reading for class that I was supposed to be reading, while the rest went pubbing. Day 2 was the Auschwitz tour and then a hang out night with the rest. Stayed up late, did not realize how late into the night it was getting but had a blast watching people playing (actually, listening into their conversations) cards and other games. Played a round and reaffirmed again how lousy my hand-eye coordination is. Some were feeling happy and we were loud. Talked to Nate and Paul, which never fails to rub me the wrong way and lead to some arguing and rolling of eyes. But it was fun to see the way two people who got to know each other very well on the trip interact with each other..it was funny to see them act as a team. Day 3 was a wake up early day. Ben, Jeff, Jill, Kim and I and a couple others were supposed to go to the Castle area again, since it was Sunday and things were supposed to be free. Well, Ben dumped me..I can say this cause he was the one that constantly reminded me that we had to get up early, but did not, even thought he went to bed earlier than I did. So Jill, Kim and I ended up going. We saw the State rooms which were quite interesting but just getting into the different areas was a pain...there were soooooo many people everywhere and it was real cold. We had to wait at least 1/2 hour for admission tickets. In one of the rooms was this ceiling decorated with wooden heads...so it looked like people's chopped off heads peering down below at you. Dunno why. No info on that. In another room, two people dressed up from the old period played music..violin and some old string instrument which I cannot recall the name, looks like a lute, old guitar, i think. Missed the "Lost Wawel" exhibit becuase of the cold. Went back, got Subway with Eric, Ben and Kim, went off with Ben to find the Polish Art exhibit but found out it was closed (and I have to think of a different topic to write about now). Ben wanted to shop, but I really did not want to then. So we went back, hung around. I took a nap. Went shopping on my own, or rather just walking around. Saw a mime going on, or rather just a guy in white flowing material immitate the passing crowd and do weird facial expressions. Everyone went for Mexican that night...Jil, Kim, Joel and I finally got that couch table...it was a semi-closed off area with couches and the table...I like that kinda concept...private and allows for conversation. And then, two hours later, it was pack up and back to Budapest.

The highlight of the trip was Auschwitz and Berkinau. I cannot say that it was profound, terribly moving or speelbounding when I was there. I lept reminding myself of the horrors that went on there but was numb and couldn't quite comprehend what I was seeing. All I know is that whenever someone mentions Auschwitz now, I am troubled and have to leave the room. I can't say I understand the emotions I have about this or how I have them, or why; I felt rather emotionless when I was actually there and listening to the tour guide. I couldn't take any photographs because I felt like I didn't want to bring away any memories of this place with me, but then again, thought that history like this should not be forgotten and should be dealt with, learnt. There was a room that exhibited the clothings of the children that were held and murdered there. Photographs with names, records of those who had been there. Children. There was another whole dorm-room full of crutches. artificial limbs and other devices used to help support the physically disable, some clearly made for little kids. Thos two exhibits were the ones I couldn't lift my head to examine. Another glass window held the bundles and bundles of hair collected by the prisoner-held barbers for the Germand textile industry's use. That was shocking. The SS seemed to collect everything and anything. It was cold, calculated murder and harvest of the innocent. It was disgusting. "Freedom Thru Work" was the slogan marking the enterance--deception, lies, brutality, filth.