Just thought, what is it that I/you/one really wants out of life?

And then I forgot the real question.

But, now and then I remember to seize the day and treat each moment according to its description: that it'll never happen again nor repeat itself. Especially with people. I think the theme of my summer this time is "People." Or rather, "Relationships with People." Because of people coming and going, and changing so quickly and, let's say, numerously in my life that it kinda scares me. And the more I reach out, the more I am live, the more I grow. While the One that has shaped the happenings in my life the most is the relationship I struggle with the most as well. Hungary gave me the love for learning and L'Abri the love for knowledge and wisdom, yet I find, the process is very dry. It drones, it squelches the mind, it ties the body For me, it is only but the people that are involved in this process that disturbs the, say, pages of an eduation, bringing that whirl of motivation and deep desiring to satisfy the hunger to live by seeking wisdom. And in this all, I do all for the approval of the one that called me first, that loved me first.

And then there's that word "love." It's really fascinating and here's one verb that lives up to its categorization, if I may say. You got to verb it, experience it to know it. I hardly understand it, and the more I experience it, the more mysterious it becomes, deeper the meaning of it. (It! Ok, I'll stop using the word "it" cause "good essays have few or no 'its' in it."). Agh! What a mess I've made of my life! But then, that's ok, cause I've learnt much in the process and I know I can get out of these messes by His strength and grace. And after all, in the end, I'll left this Earth and everything in it anyhow, so no bother. Plaques and monuments of the great men and women of this world are meant for the living and not the dead anyhow.

Ugh, what a morbid last thought.