Sunday, December 30, 2007

Things in my life as of today

Here's what's been going on. I feel like I need to list it down for myself just to figure out what I should be doing...this Christmas break has been very weird and odd thus far and the lack of busyness after weeks and weeks of intense busyness is unsettling...in a not so bad way ;)

1) Housing situation is in question. When and to where should I move? Need prayer.
2) Social situation. I need more friends. Period. That are Jesus-daily-following kind of Christian(s).
3) Need to find a home church...yes, I should have by now, but haven't.
4) I looked up US News' best grad schools for speech pathology and found the rankings haven't really changed much, drat...I mean, oh well. I still have angst against some but no matter...I now think the angst is misplaced and I know better now. I looked up the schools I could and got a little high on seeing and reading about these professors whose names are all over the literature and textbooks (which should NOT be updated as quickly as they are! Students are poor ok) and all the research they do...and now I want to find out who's getting the grants. I think I want to get a PhD more now...and although my for- reasons are still the same, and the against- reasons are too...the one that goes something like, I enjoy it, is beginning to carry more weight. Which bring me to the next point:
5) I'm beginning to do things because I enjoy it rather than because I have to and know it's the right thing to do. I give up on that (hopefully in its entirety). I know too much but lack the doing part...so now, I will do what I enjoy because things usually turn out for the better anyhow...I've been ingrained with all the good stuff for so long I don't think I can really stray into horrible deals. Being morally and ethically good to too tiring. Living it is easier.
6) Work is challenging and as much as I weep and rage over it, I do smile at work and love the success when I see it. It is a good job...just challenging. I think I went over the parent-professional line once though...I didn't think of it, the line is getting so thin...but then again, all lines kinda turn out to be that way...anyhow, a client was obviously not himself, so I had the parent come in as a comfort measure...it's good for parents to see what we do in therapy anyhow. But me and the parent started talking and somehow the parent found out about my religion, where I came from, and how many years I've been in the field. Then I felt like I became less of his son's speech therapist, and more personal-relatable (if there's such a word)...ops. This could be good...or bad.

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